Self Life Spirit

I’m Not Stupid I Got a Knowing...

Far from it. My understanding goes beyond intelligence. When something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't. Looks like... walks like... smells like... probably is. There must be something about me that gives people the idea I'm not intelligent or perceptive. Slow? Yes, but not in that way. Gullible? On occasion. Stupid? Nah. I generally respect others unless they give me cause not to and I don't expect to be spoken to like I'm a simpleton, yet, it happens from time to time.

When it does I think I’ve obviously presented my oft mild-mannered self in a way that makes them think I’m not smart or confident, which, in turn makes them think they can: 1) tell me any old thing and expect me to believe it, 2) speak to me like I’m some kind of idiot, or 3) talk to me like I’m a second-class citizen. I’m not aggressive *wide-eyed like #IssaRae when she’s fabricating a statement* “Girl. What? Psch! Meee? B**ch, no.” While I may not like you treating me or speaking to me anykindahow, I’ll let you assume I’m none too sharp. Here’s why: I got a “knowing” about me and you will constantly underestimate me. Oooh that sounded ominous.

I’m writing about this because I’ve been thinking about things I’m told. I guess they think they’re… fooling me?? Or, how people I barely know come at me like they’ve lost their minds because they assume I’m here for their childish, passive aggressive bs that I know has more to do with some trauma they’re unpacking than it does me. Don’t play me. While I would like to be the mature person and behave accordingly, this is an area God is working on with me so let’s just say I get presented with many “growth” opportunities.

I cracked up earlier thinking of the time someone told me sex outside marriage was okay if it was with the person you would end up with. HUH?!? Where in scripture does it say THAT? Man, someone done LIED to you. Did he actually think I would believe that? You KNOW who you are and if you’re reading this… maaan, you wrong for that. Granted, we didn’t talk much about our spirituality or sin. It still makes me a little sad because he assumed I had no understanding of basic biblical principles and I remember thinking then, “He must think I’m stupid.” Sin is sin – intentional or unintentional.

Grown Ups

A note for those who are not as mature in their walk (like me): do not automatically assume, as I did, that those who “grew up” in the church are somehow more spiritual, religious or have more faith than you. They may be able to recite the bible backwards and sideways but the truth is just because they grew up in the church doesn’t mean they’ve grown up in the Lord. God meets us precisely where we are but you’ve got to get the basics down by understanding His character and His promises.

I don’t understand how those who study/attend church/bible study regularly don’t get that they need to apply scripture to their daily lives. I once suggested a friend, knowledgeable of the bible, consider surrendering the issues they worried about and they seemed to be confused. “Surrender??? Surrender what?” Then it was my turn to be confused. I don’t know what they thought I meant. I was talking about surrendering that illusion of control to God. When you’re displeased with your circumstances, it’s usually because you don’t have control. That’s when you ask for help but if you don’t know how? Well then, I especially love Romans 8:26, a passage about how the Holy Spirit will intercede on your behalf if you don’t know how/what to pray. My point was… the power to ease their problems was there if they redirected their energy to the One who could solve them. Make spirit-driven choices and don’t rely on your own devices to work it out.

Which leads me to back to the, “she ain’t that bright so I’ll just make up something.” But ah, you forgot about the “knowing.” *taps temple* Some have a heightened perception of themselves and what they can do and think they’re wholly responsible for making things happen. I would assume that makes them think they are smarter than most.

I don’t believe you control anything, therefore, you can’t make anything happen. To me, that makes you delusional and not-so-smart.

I get that you’re always on your grind and remain proactive in seeking opportunity. Carpe diem. However, if you have a conscience and don’t move through this world the right way, it will end up costing you – one way or another. Me included. I’ve seen way too many situations, my own and others’, where something was easy but not quite… right. And it may be a subtle thing that makes it wrong.

Reminds me of the time a guy I was dating in college gave me a pair of gold earrings. I was surprised he would get me anything because he spent all his money on weed. Then I looked closer and saw they were two different earrings. Then he admitted he stole them because he had no money. What the…? #goodintentions #wrongmove

Back to the topic at hand: It could be a relationship or some kind of other opportunity that looks good on the outside but if you look closer, you’ll see how wrong it is. Same thing goes for twisting the hell out of something to make it fit your agenda. Just stop. You’re doin’ too much.

All that glitters is not gold and God has given me x-ray glasses to see through the stuff I’m expected to believe to reveal the REAL truth. If I’m not sure if something is right for me, I pray about it – regardless of any assurances I might have from people. Once it was a one word revelation. Not much to go on but that one word was so meaningful to me that I got the gist. Sometimes He even shows me their motivation. I used to ask, “How could I possibly know that?” but I accept it now. I don’t always reveal what I know although I may allude to it. This usually silences or puzzles people telling half-truths/untruths and I can almost hear them thinking, “Did I tell her that?” You didn’t have to. As I think I’ve said before, I don’t have the gift of prophecy, I just get information.

I know this has been a bit cryptic and preachy but I really am amazed how some expect you to believe anything that comes out of their mouths. And it makes me think they’ve made assumptions about my intelligence. I’m not here to convict anyone but if you find yourself telling stories, you might want to stop because people perceive a lot more than you could ever imagine. If you’re a pathological liar, get some help. While there’s a whole lot I don’t know and I’m happy to admit that, I’m not stupid and I know things. That is all.

Originally Written: August 6, 2017

OneHipSista

Hi. I'm Valerie. Glad you're here – come on in and sit a spell. I've never put so much of my writing online but I share my personal experiences in hopes that I help someone in some way. I hope you find something you read thought-provoking, amusing or encouraging. Reach out or comment if you like. Please forgive the typos, grammar and cussing. Thanks for stopping by.

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