Survival Life Spirit Grief & Loss

Keep On Keeping On You Can Go On

I have always had an avid interest in psychology. In my quest for self knowledge and development, I read a lot of articles on a variety of subjects. Do these people know more than I do? Who knows. They have studied behavioral patterns, mental health issues and such...and the conclusions are interesting if nothing else.

Lately I find myself revisiting loss and grief. Not only in terms of the death of a loved one; loss occurs in many relationships. Breakups, divorce, moving, etc. One thing I agree with is that there’s no time limit on grieving because every individual processes their emotions differently. Occasionally we relive losses of previous relationships from years past. Sometimes we need to have closure on past relationships so that others may begin. It is said issues arise when we don’t release emotions and move past these traumas to find our new normalcy. And if you know like I know, after a severe loss, nothing is the same. Everything you thought you knew no longer applies.

Anyway, I think allayall should understand that you CAN go on. Whatever it is… you will get up. Maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow. And if not then… maybe the next day. The pain may continue to haunt you and it will prove difficult at times, but you will make it through. How do I know? Because I’m a survivor just like you. When my brother killed my father and step mother in 1993, I though I would never recover. I have. It took some serious work and support, but once I accepted that my life would never be the same, I was able to keep it moving. It took years to come to grips with it, but I am HERE good people – living my life in divine order. I love my brother dearly despite what he did. I don’t condone his acts but I forgive him as often as possible. I also have a close family member who’s been living with HIV for over twenty years. His health deteriorates from time to time and though I worry about him and more accurately, about losing him, I pray for him, and keep keepin’ on. I have been in unhealthy romantic relationships and survived sexual assault, yet I still believe in everlasting love and that I will find the right man to truly honor and respect me. I am convinced that the key is to learn what we can from these experiences and always remember that we have choices. We can choose NOT to be defined and victimized by our pain and circumstances. We can choose joy. We can choose to get help if we need it – without shame. We can go forth and deal with all the emotions that arise from painful situations the best and healthiest way possible and… you got it: Keep Keepin’ On.

You never know what people are battling until you talk to them. I think we can all be mindful and sensitive… and realize that someone standing next to you in line or on the train may be dealing with major issues. If you don’t know personal tragedy, I pray you will go a long time without knowing as the pain can be debilitating. But if you do happen to find yourself in a situation, please know that you will be OK. You will likely be forever affected, but you will triumph. One foot after the other…. and before you know it you’ll be walking. Don’t be discouraged if you stumble or have to stop – even for a long while. Just keep getting back up.

Sometimes things are laid on my heart and I just write. This blog entry goes out to all my people going through it – whatever it is –  even if it’s old pain you thought you handled years ago.

Be blessed, people.

Soundtrack for this entry is James “D-Train” Williams’ “Keep On”

Originally Written: July 12, 2008

OneHipSista

Hi. I'm Valerie. Glad you're here – come on in and sit a spell. I've never put so much of my writing online but I share my personal experiences in hopes that I help someone in some way. I hope you find something you read thought-provoking, amusing or encouraging. Reach out or comment if you like. Please forgive the typos, grammar and cussing. Thanks for stopping by.

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