Self Control Trust Spirit

Painful Decisions

While you might be able to walk the line for awhile on some life choices, on others you're either in or out. If you find yourself struggling to choose a path because you're afraid someone else may be hurt or disappointed, it can cause you considerable emotional pain. There's no half-steppin' and not making a choice is not an option. You HAVE to make a decision.

Why It’s Hard

My theory? Unless you’re a totally selfish person, it’s normal to consider loved ones in important decisions, especially ones affecting them, like moves or career choices. The struggle arises because we’re [overly] concerned with what other people want for us. If you know what you want, decisions are straightforward and easy, unless you’re afraid of some risk and start to oscillate. I’ll be the first to admit – I do not like ambivalence in myself. I don’t like the uncertainty of “should I or shouldn’t I?” If I’m venturing into the unknown, it’s a careful assessment that comes down to: what’s the worst that could happen? Is it any worse than where I am right now? Will I have peace regardless of the outcome? And finally: I choose to believe God will make it all right, wherever I end up.

You Gotta Have Faith

Faith requires courage and stepping out on faith is like crossing a chasm. Once you’ve crossed, there’s no reason to go back. I once had a dream where I was standing on a cliff with a bunch of other people. The rocks all around us were blackened and smooth, like volcanic rock . A man, who I assumed was the leader, swung across a deep chasm and ended up on the opposite cliff. (I said it was a dream. The rope didn’t have to be connected to anything. lol) He called to me to swing. I hesitated briefly, shrugged and swung across. He caught and steadied me. It wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be although I did peer over the side of the cliff and I couldn’t see the bottom. One by one we assisted the other people across. Only one man remained but we left him to go back and join the people who lived in the valley. (I don’t know where the valley was or who was were but they may have been elves. Don’t quote me on that.) That was it.

I don’t put much thought into dream interpretation but that one seemed simple… faith is like that. You hesitate as your brain tries to determine possible outcomes but if you have faith, you believe everything will work out and you swing. It’s believing in what you don’t see. When I believe in what I’m doing but there’s a niggling question in the back of my mind, I feel doubtful and weak. I’m human. One of the most important spiritual lessons I’ve learned is that God is not like people. People disappoint you, abandon you and betray you. That is NOT the character of God. He’s always there. Deuteronomy 31:6 Always. People are not perfect but HE is. He doesn’t take vacations or lunch breaks. And most importantly? Although we may be wishy-washy, He is not. He is all in when it comes to His children. He is the author and finisher of my faith.

Making that Difficult Decision

In some scenarios, you make a decision and whoever you were concerned about is thrilled. Even if it’s not something they’d choose for themselves, hopefully they accept it because they can see that it makes you happy. All good. But what happens when they react badly to something you want to try or do? (Like, I dunno, follow your dreams…) It’s outright discouraging. If you really want their support, it can be difficult to do what you know in your heart. You worry about what they think or even fear they’ll leave you if you don’t do something they approve of.

Why They Aren’t Supportive

I’d say it stems from fear. They’re afraid for you, afraid you’ll fail (totally missing the fact that you’re willing to risk that). As Dr. Wayne Dyer put it: “There are no failures, only unexpected results.” Or perhaps they think they will be responsible for you in some way… and don’t want to bear any emotional (or financial) burden because of your [careless] decisions. Sometimes they forget that you are not them and they are not you, and that you are no more responsible for their happiness than they are for yours. Secretly, they may be watching you… envious that you are living your life without being sidelined by fear. You’re willing to take a chance on living an unconventional life to fulfill your divine purpose. If you find that people you love don’t support your dreams, I recommend you ask them this question: are you living your life the way you want? If they could do anything, would they be doing what they are doing? If they want to be doing something else, why aren’t they doing it? You may get a long list of reasons but underneath all of that, I bet it has to do with their fears.

What if you had the courage to show up in your very own life and live your potential?

Like It’s Golden

What I mean by “live your potential” is we all have gifts to share and if a life decision takes you down a path where you are unable to share and develop those gifts, I’d say you are not yet living your full potential. It doesn’t mean you never will, it just may take a little longer. Life is precious and like Jilly says, you have to live it like it’s golden. Life is filled with choices, some no-brainers, others so difficult they stress us terribly. What I’ve learned is that decisions are only difficult when we make them that way. They can be complex but when you can feel which way to go, you should get quiet and listen for guidance through the Spirit. As a believer, I know the Holy Spirit is listening and guiding me, so if I just quiet my fears and be still, I’ll know what to do. Once you know, then you communicate it to anyone who is affected.

Originally Written: February 16, 2016

OneHipSista

Hi. I'm Valerie. Glad you're here – come on in and sit a spell. I've never put so much of my writing online but I share my personal experiences in hopes that I help someone in some way. I hope you find something you read thought-provoking, amusing or encouraging. Reach out or comment if you like. Please forgive the typos, grammar and cussing. Thanks for stopping by.

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