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Mental Intimacy

What is intimacy? It's easy to think of it in a sexual nature but I'm looking at it a different way. My hope is to not only begin a relationship based on friendship, but to become intimate with that person over time. Let me clarify. Intimate with their mind, heart and spirit. If you have a strong sense of your sexuality, it's easy to become physically intimate. I realized I am often attracted to people whose minds work like mine. Quick-witted, thoughtful or creative types are ideal.

Don’t get me wrong, I think physical attraction is important if you’re pursuing a serious relationship and can initially draw you to someone. However, I believe it’s that mental intimacy – understanding and truly comprehending your mate – that will take a relationship to new levels.
This can be a difficult task. It requires many things, among them, willingness, trust, honesty and an open mind. People have incidents and experiences built up in layers. To peel these away and show another person your spiritual nudity is something I imagine most are not willing to do. Fear is a prominent factor. Fear of rejection, fear if you tell all the person will leave, fear that if you reveal too much, you’re potentially vulnerable to pain. Let me backtrack a bit. I don’t think it’s wise to open up to every single person you meet nor do I think it’s wise to try to tell anything and everything too soon. When you build a friendship, you trust that person to a certain extent. Most people, myself included, have friends who only get the “radio edit” of their lives, while others get the “extended remix” because they’ve proven themselves more trustworthy over time. Time is essential.

In other news, I’ve also been thinking about what a sister of mine said. She met someone online a few months ago and when I talked to her, she had a testimony. Both of them love God and she told me how she never knew how beautiful a relationship between a man and woman could be. They’ve been blessed. 🙂 She spoke of how God created man in his image – essentially to glorify Him and since woman was taken from man, she should glorify him. Cool, isn’t it?

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” – Gen 2:23

In that perspective…oops, why is the text green? Oh…okay. There we go. As I was saying, based on that, I’m even more convinced that there’s a man out there who’s missing a part of him that only I have. This is not a call to every man who thinks just because they like the way I look, I’m the one intended for him. I’m just saying…in time, I’m sure I’ll meet up with him – IF – I haven’t met him already and he’ll say, “Hey! Lady! C’mere…I think you’ve got the rest of me!” *snicker*

One other thing I’d like to mention….hope is a good thing to have but be careful what you hope for. You just might get it and won’t be at ALL what you expected.

Okay, where am I now? As a melon headed man once told me, “you have to put in the time” to build a strong relationship. I don’t mind putting in the time – as long as it’s not “hard time” and I’ve got a cellmate. I’ve pretty much given up Internet dating – what a bizarre experience I had. Don’t worry, I wasn’t hurt or harmed in any way. It was just bugged out!! So what do I do now…well, that’s simple *grin* I just keep on movin’, learning, growing, thinking….and doing the Diva things that Divas do.

and I’m out.

Originally Written: January 3, 1999


Hi. I'm Valerie. Glad you're here – come on in and sit a spell. I've never put so much of my writing online but I share my personal experiences in hopes that I help someone in some way. I hope you find something you read thought-provoking, amusing or encouraging. Reach out or comment if you like. Please forgive the typos, grammar and cussing. Thanks for stopping by.

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